Be gentle with yourself. Take your time to understand. The pace Allah decreed is the most beneficial and appropriate for you. You will attain what you seek, His pleasure. Insha’Allah.
“Verily the one who recites the Qur’an beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have twice that reward.”
Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim